What to say instead of “you're not my boss”

Say this instead

1. 01

   Thanks for the suggestion. My priorities come from my manager, so I'll stick to the plan we agreed unless she says otherwise.

   Coworker · Chat

   Use it when a peer keeps handing you tasks, since it names who sets your priorities without attacking them.

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2. 02

   I'm happy to hear your input, but this one is my call, so I'm going ahead as planned.

   Coworker · Chat

   Reach for it when someone second-guesses a decision that is clearly yours to make.

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3. 03

   Thanks for flagging this. Decisions on my workload sit with my manager, so if you'd like it prioritized, please raise it with her directly.

   Coworker · Email

   Choose this one when you want a written record and a clear route for the request.

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4. 04

   I can't take this on from you directly. Let's check with our manager first so we're all working from the same priorities.

   Coworker · SMS

   Short and firm, it suits a quick message when a peer is pushing you outside work hours.

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5. 05

   Thanks for the feedback. Changes to scope need to go through my manager, so please copy her on any new requests and we'll take it from there.

   Client · Email

   Try it when a client starts giving instructions that belong in a formal change process.

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6. 06

   Thanks for the note. I can't agree changes on my own. Please send requests to my manager so they're tracked properly.

   Client · SMS

   Polite and clear, it holds the boundary when a client texts you direct instructions.

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7. 07

   I want to follow one set of priorities. Could we confirm with my manager that this comes before the work she already gave me?

   Boss · Chat

   Senior people from another team who skip your own manager are the right audience for this one.

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Examples

What to avoid

• Don't say it in front of other people, because it reads as a public challenge.
• Sarcasm like “since when do you run things?” only escalates the tension.
• Silently ignoring the request leaves things unclear, so say who does decide and where to take it.
• If part of the feedback is useful, acknowledge it and separate the idea from the person's authority.

Related phrases

• How to say “lazy” professionally→
• Better ways to say “ridiculous”→
• How to say “you're not meeting expectations” professionally→
• A kinder way to say “this is useless”→
• A kinder way to say “you are not my boss”→
• Saying “someone quit” at work→