A kinder way to say “you need to improve your performance”
Why it can fall flat
“you need to improve your performance”
Most people will hear it as a verdict on them as a person, with nothing concrete to fix. The writer usually wants a specific gap named and then closed.
Say this instead
- 01
Hi Ari, your sales numbers have been below target for the last three months, and I want to help you turn that around. Can we meet Thursday to look at where deals are stalling and map out a plan for next quarter?
Someone you manage · Email
Use it when the gap is measurable and you want the talk to center on causes and a plan.
- 02
The last two reports reached me after the deadline. What's getting in the way? I'd like to hear your side and see what would help you hit the next one.
Someone you manage · Chat
Good for a first, specific concern, since it names the problem and asks for their view before you decide anything.
- 03
Hi Aditi, I'd like to talk about your recent work. Are you free tomorrow at 10am or 3pm for 20 minutes? Let me know which suits you.
Someone you manage · SMS
Choose this to set up a proper conversation without delivering the feedback by text.
- 04
Your section has been reaching me after Wednesday, which leaves me too little time before the Friday deadline. Could you get it to me by Tuesday evening from now on?
Coworker · Chat
Peers respond well to it because it states the effect on your work and makes one clear request.
- 05
Hi Neha, the last two project briefs came in after our team had already started, which meant rework and a tight finish. Could we talk about getting briefs to us before kickoff, or what makes that hard?
Boss · Email
A boss's own lapse lands better when you describe its effect on the team and ask about the obstacle instead of judging.
- 06
Hi Dev, in Monday's meeting you interrupted colleagues several times, and it is making discussions harder. Please let people finish before you respond. If it would help to talk it through, my door is open.
Someone you manage · Email
Behavior problems fit here more than results problems, since it names the behavior and the change you expect.
- 07
Hi Leena, the last three candidates you sent didn't have the five years of experience listed in the brief. Could you check profiles against the requirements before sending? A quick call to recalibrate would help.
Recruiter / HR · Email
An outside recruiter missing the brief gets a concrete miss and a fix, which keeps the request easy to act on.
Examples
Hi Stuart, Over the past month, several customer tickets assigned to you waited two or three days for a first reply. I know your queue is busy, but our target is one working day, so I'd like to understand what is slowing things down. Could we meet on Wednesday at 2pm to go over your queue together? Thanks, Geeta
Quick note on today's client call: it looked like you hadn't read the brief beforehand. Before the next call, please read it and send me your top three questions the evening before. Tell me if anything makes that hard.
What to avoid
- Vague verdicts like “not good enough” or “step it up” leave the person guessing, so name what you actually saw.
- Formal warnings or overall ratings don't belong in chat or text, which suit only small, specific issues or setting up a meeting.
- Words like “always” and “never” invite arguments, while one clear, recent example is easier to act on.
- Burying the point under praise hides the concern, so state it early and plainly.
- Comparing the person with named colleagues turns feedback into a contest and shifts attention away from the work.