A kinder way to say “you're underperforming”

Say this instead

1. 01

   I want to talk about your recent results. They're below what we agreed, and I'd like us to work out together what's getting in the way.

   Someone you manage · Chat

   Suits a first, informal conversation because it names the gap plainly and invites their view.

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2. 02

   Your output over the last month has been under the target we set. Can we meet Thursday to go through the numbers and agree next steps?

   Someone you manage · Email

   Choose this when you want a written record that points to a specific target and leads to a meeting.

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3. 03

   Hi Kendall, can we talk tomorrow morning about your recent work? It's been below the level we need, and I want to help you get back on track.

   Someone you manage · SMS

   Handy as a quick, private heads-up before a meeting, with the details saved for the conversation itself.

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4. 04

   Your part of the project has fallen behind, and it's holding up mine. Can we look at what's blocking you and what you can deliver by Friday?

   Coworker · Chat

   Linking the problem to its real effect and asking for a concrete commitment keeps this one factual.

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5. 05

   The last two handovers had errors I had to fix before I could continue. Could we go through the checklist together so they come through clean?

   Coworker · Email

   Good for a repeated quality problem, since it asks for a fix instead of starting a blame argument.

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6. 06

   The last three shortlists haven't matched the brief we agreed. Can we review the requirements and adjust so the next set is closer?

   Recruiter / HR · Email

   Fits a recruiter who keeps missing the brief, and it moves straight to a fix.

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7. 07

   Heads-up: Arun's results have been below target for three weeks. I'm setting up a check-in and wanted you to know before we meet.

   Boss · Chat

   Your manager hears about it early and sees that you are already dealing with the issue.

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8. 08

   Your recent work hasn't met the standard we expect for this role. I'd like to agree two or three clear goals for the next month. When suits you?

   Someone you manage · Email

   Best when the problem has dragged on and you need to set clear, measurable expectations.

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Examples

What to avoid

• Broad labels like “lazy” or “not good enough” help no one, so describe the specific results or behavior instead.
• Feedback given in a group chat or in front of others feels like a public reprimand, so keep it private.
• Saying “everyone has noticed” sounds like gossip and feels unfair unless you can be specific.
• Leaving out the next step weakens the message, so end with a meeting, a goal or a date.
• Softening the message too much can leave the person unaware that their work is below expectations.

Related phrases

• A kinder way to say “you're not getting a promotion”→
• A kinder way to say “calm down”→
• What to say instead of “keep it professional”→
• Alternatives to “this is poor management” at work→
• How to say “you're not meeting expectations” professionally→
• Alternatives to “you promised me a job” at work→