Saying “who are you?” at work
Why it can fall flat
“who are you?”
Sent alone, “who are you?” reads like a challenge, as if the person has no right to be there. Asking for a name, a role and the reason for the message is far more useful.
Say this instead
- 01
Hi, I don't think we've met. Could you tell me your name and which team you're on?
Coworker · Chat
Use this when someone you don't know messages you first, since it is friendly and asks only for the basics.
- 02
Could you tell me who Aarti is? She's copied on the budget thread and I don't know her role.
Boss · Chat
Choose this when an unfamiliar name shows up on a thread and you want context before you reply.
- 03
Hello, thanks for your message. I don't think we've been introduced. Could you tell me your name, your role and how you're connected to the project?
Client · Email
This fits when someone writes on a client's behalf and you need to know their part before sharing details.
- 04
Hi, could you let me know who this is and what it's about? Thanks.
Recruiter / HR · SMS
Send this to texts from unknown numbers that mention a job but name no company or person.
- 05
I see a name I don't recognize on the invite list: Isaac Roy. Do you know who he is and why he's joining?
Someone you manage · Chat
This suits a meeting you run when you want to check an unfamiliar attendee in a way that doesn't sound suspicious.
- 06
Thank you for contacting us. To find your account, could you share your full name and the email address you signed up with?
Customer · Email
Customers who write without identifying themselves respond well to this, because it explains why you need the details.
- 07
Hi, I've received your request, but I don't think we've met. Could you introduce yourself briefly and tell me what you need from my team?
Coworker · Email
A stranger from another department asking for help is a good case, since you get context before agreeing.
Examples
Hello, Thanks for your email about the Q3 report. I don't think we've met, and I'm not sure which team you're with. Could you tell me your name, your role and what you plan to use the report for? Once I have that, I can check whether I'm the right person to send it. Best regards, Fiona
Hi Sidney, welcome to the channel. I don't see your name on the project list, so could you tell us who you are and what you'll be working on with us?
What to avoid
- Sending “who are you?” by itself, especially in writing, where no friendly tone of voice softens it.
- Asking for ID or credentials in a way that feels like an interrogation, when you could simply say why you need the details.
- Over-apologizing or hinting that they should have introduced themselves first, since a simple “I don't think we've met” is enough.
- Tacking on “and what do you want?” is rude, so ask “what it's about” or “how I can help” instead.
- Sharing files, data or decisions before you know who is asking.