Better ways to say “stop brown nosing”

Say this instead

1. 01

   I'd rather we give Harriet our honest view on the deadline. Agreeing with everything doesn't help the team, so let's say what we actually think.

   Coworker · Chat

   Use this with a peer who agrees with the boss on everything and needs a nudge to speak plainly.

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2. 02

   Can we keep the meeting on the agenda? I'd rather skip the round of compliments for the manager and use the time on the open issues.

   Coworker · Email

   Good when praise is eating meeting time and you want to refocus the group without naming anyone.

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3. 03

   Thanks for the kind words. I'd find your input more useful if you told me what you actually think, including any concerns you have about the plan.

   Someone you manage · Chat

   Fits a moment when someone you manage offers compliments in place of real opinions.

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4. 04

   I appreciate the praise, but I need straight feedback from you. Please tell me when you disagree with a decision, even if it feels awkward.

   Someone you manage · Email

   Best in a one-to-one where you want to build a habit of honest disagreement.

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5. 05

   In team meetings we mostly hear praise for ideas, which makes it hard to spot problems early. Could we ask everyone for one concern as well as one positive?

   Boss · Email

   Suits a manager you want to change the meeting format for, rather than calling out one person.

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6. 06

   Thank you, that's kind of you to say. I'll keep to the agreed scope and price either way, so let's focus on what the project needs.

   Client · Email

   Helpful when a client's flattery is aimed at winning a concession and you want to stay friendly but firm.

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7. 07

   Let's be straight with Blake about the delay. Saying it's all fine won't help us. Can you back me up with the real numbers tomorrow?

   Coworker · SMS

   Pick this when a peer keeps smoothing things over and you need them to join you in being direct.

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Examples

What to avoid

• Using the phrase itself or any crude label for the person, since it sounds like an attack on their character.
• Guessing their motives, when you can describe the behavior you see, such as constant agreement or praise, instead of why you think they do it.
• Raising it in front of others, which turns a small habit into a public embarrassment.
• Sarcasm or jokes about favoritism are easy to misread and hard to take back.

Related phrases

• Better ways to say “I disagree”→
• Alternatives to “I told you so” at work→
• “Per my last email”: how to say it politely→
• A kinder way to say “stay in your lane”→
• What to say instead of “you're a people pleaser”→
• Better ways to say “you are no longer needed”→