Saying “be more professional” at work
Why it can fall flat
“be more professional”
Most people hear “be more professional” as a verdict on who they are, so they get defensive and still don't know what to change. The writer usually wants one specific behavior to stop or start, like tone, timing or how people are addressed.
Say this instead
- 01
In client meetings, please arrive on time, keep your phone away and let the client finish speaking. Can we talk about what's making that hard?
Someone you manage · Email
Use this when a team member's habits form a pattern, since it names behaviors and opens a conversation instead of pinning a label on them.
- 02
Quick feedback on today's call: please keep comments focused on the work and let others finish before you reply. Happy to go through examples if useful.
Someone you manage · Chat
This suits a same-day nudge after one specific incident, while the details are still fresh for both of you.
- 03
The all-caps messages to the team are hard to read calmly. Could you keep the tone more even? I'd like us to sort out the actual issue together.
Coworker · Chat
A peer's written tone is the issue here, so the message points at the behavior and keeps attention on solving the work problem.
- 04
Hi Ravi, I found some of the comments in yesterday's meeting hard to take. Could we keep discussion on the project and raise concerns with each other directly afterwards?
Coworker · Email
Choose this when a colleague's remarks in a group felt out of line, because it says how they landed and proposes a clear alternative.
- 05
I'd like to raise how disagreements are handled in team meetings. Raised voices make it hard for people to speak up. Could we agree some ground rules?
Boss · Email
Your manager can set expectations here, since the message describes the effect on people and suggests a concrete next step.
- 06
To keep the project moving, can we keep our messages focused on the work and use respectful language on both sides? I'm glad to set up a call to clear the open points.
Client · Email
When a client's messages have turned sharp, this sets a standard without blaming anyone and offers a way forward.
- 07
Please dress smart for tomorrow's client visit and arrive by 9:00. Message me if anything's unclear.
Someone you manage · SMS
A short, practical reminder before an event fits well, since the exact expectations are spelled out.
- 08
I want to help you sort this out, and I can do that best if we keep the conversation respectful. Can you tell me what happened with your order?
Customer · Chat
With an abusive customer you still want to help, this sets a boundary and steers the conversation back to the problem.
Examples
Hi Kerry, Thanks for your work on the Patel account. In today's call, interrupting the client twice made it hard for them to finish their point. Next time, please let them finish and save any disagreement for us to discuss afterwards. Happy to go through it before Thursday's call. Thanks, Priya
Hey Kerry, one thing from the call: please let people finish before replying, even when you disagree. Happy to talk it through if you'd like.
What to avoid
- Calling someone “unprofessional” as a label without saying what actually happened.
- Giving the feedback in front of others when a private message would do the job.
- Stacking several old complaints into the same message.
- Don't assume bad intent, and describe the behavior and its effect instead.
- Leaving out what you'd like to see instead makes the feedback hard to act on.