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Feedback and conflict

What to say instead of “we have a problem”

Why it can fall flat

“we have a problem”

Listeners tend to brace at “we have a problem,” which is vague and alarming and leaves them guessing what happened, how big it is or what you need. Flagging fast is the right instinct, but the aim is to raise it early and get it handled.

Say this instead

  1. 01

    Quick heads-up: the supplier's delivery has slipped to next week, which affects Friday's launch. Do you have 10 minutes today to decide how we handle it?

    Boss · Chat

    Use this when you need a decision from your boss, since it names the issue, the impact and the next step.

  2. 02

    I need to flag an issue with the Q3 report: two of the data sources don't match. I'm checking which one is correct. Could we talk when you have a moment?

    Boss · Email

    Choose this when you are still investigating and want your boss informed early without overstating it.

  3. 03

    Something has come up with the handover files that could hold us both up. Can we look at it together after lunch?

    Coworker · Chat

    Pick this for a shared issue, because it says “both” and invites teamwork instead of assigning blame.

  4. 04

    I think we're not clear on who owns the client updates, and it's leading to duplicate work. Could we agree a split this week?

    Coworker · Email

    Reach for this when the real issue is a process gap and you want a specific fix rather than a vague complaint.

  5. 05

    I want to let you know about an issue with the delivery date. I'd like to walk you through what we know and the options. Are you free for a call tomorrow?

    Client · Email

    This suits a client who needs to hear bad news from you first, with a clear offer to talk it through.

  6. 06

    Can we find 15 minutes today to talk about the missing figures in the last few reports? I'd like to understand what's getting in the way.

    Someone you manage · Chat

    Try this when you manage someone and want to discuss a pattern with curiosity rather than accusation.

  7. 07

    Hi Mr. Ramsay, there's an issue with your order that we need to sort out. Please call us when you can so we can go through it.

    Customer · SMS

    This fits when the customer needs to get in touch but the details are better handled by phone.

Examples

Email

Hi Natalie, I want to flag an issue with Friday's launch. The supplier has told us the packaging will now arrive on Monday instead of Thursday. Could we speak this afternoon to decide on next steps? Thanks, Harper

Chat

Hi Curtis, something has come up with the invoice data that affects today's report. Have you got 10 minutes to look at it with me?

What to avoid

  • Don't send the phrase alone and then go silent, because the message should say what the issue is right away.
  • Starting a sentence with “you”, as in “you caused this”, puts people on the defensive, so describe the issue first and then move to fixes.
  • Late Friday or just before a meeting is a poor time to send it, since people can't respond.
  • Drama words like “disaster” or “crisis” make a manageable issue feel bigger than it is.
  • A group channel is the wrong place for something that really needs a private conversation.

Rewrite your message

Add a few words about your situation for a better result.

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