“Stupid”: how to say it politely
Why it can fall flat
“stupid”
Calling a plan “stupid” makes the other person hear an attack, so they get defensive and stop listening to your point. What you likely want is a change to the plan, rule or decision itself.
Say this instead
- 01
I don't think the extra sign-off step is catching errors, and it slows the team down. Can we talk about simplifying or removing it?
Boss · Email
Use this when you object to a process, since it names the problem and asks for a conversation instead of handing down a verdict.
- 02
I don't think this approach will work. It relies on data we don't have yet. Can we look at another option?
Coworker · Chat
Offer this when a teammate proposes a plan, because it gives one concrete reason and leaves room for alternatives.
- 03
I have a concern about this request. It would add cost and delay without helping the goal you described. Can I suggest another way to get there?
Client · Email
Send this when a client asks for something that works against their own goal, since it ties your objection to what they want.
- 04
I don't agree with this decision. Can you walk me through your reasoning? I want to understand it before we settle on anything.
Someone you manage · Chat
Try this when someone you manage made a call you disagree with, because it states your view without shutting them down.
- 05
The application asks for the same details three times, which feels like wasted effort. Could you tell me which steps I can skip?
Recruiter / HR · Email
Pick this when a hiring process feels repetitive, as it states the complaint plainly and asks for a practical fix.
- 06
That plan doubles the work for no real gain. Can we have a quick call before it goes ahead?
Coworker · SMS
Reach for this when an urgent objection needs a text, since it can stop something from moving forward fast.
- 07
I'm struggling to see how this new rule helps. What problem is it meant to solve?
Boss · Chat
Ask this when a policy seems pointless, because the question invites an explanation and shows exactly where you disagree.
Examples
Hi Swati, I don't think the Friday deadline is realistic for the full report. The data won't be ready until Thursday afternoon, which leaves no time to check it properly. Could we move the deadline to Monday, or agree on a shorter version for Friday? Thanks, Toni
Hi Finley, I don't think a 60-minute status meeting every Monday is working. Most updates could go in a shared doc instead. Can we try that for two weeks and see how it goes?
What to avoid
- Calling the idea or the person stupid, even as a joke or in a private chat that could be forwarded.
- Sarcasm or rhetorical questions like “Who thought this was a good idea?” will make people dig in.
- Putting “obviously” or “clearly” before your objection implies the other person missed something simple.
- Giving an opinion with no reason leaves people guessing, so add what the problem is and what you'd prefer.