Better ways to say “please recommend me”
Why it can fall flat
“please recommend me”
People usually say “please recommend me” when a job or transfer is coming up, but it reads like an order and skips what it's for and who it goes to. A clear, polite ask with an easy out works better.
Say this instead
- 01
Hi Farah, I'm applying for a design role at another company. Would you be comfortable acting as a reference for me? I can send a few notes on what we worked on together.
Boss · Email
Good when you want a manager to vouch for you, and offering notes makes it easier for them to agree.
- 02
Hey Lesley, I'm going for the team lead role. Would you be willing to write a short LinkedIn recommendation for me? No pressure at all if you're swamped.
Coworker · Chat
Fits a peer who has seen your work, since it names the format and gives them a graceful way out.
- 03
Hi Mr. Fletcher, it's been a pleasure working on your account this year. If you're happy with the results, would you be open to writing a short recommendation of my work?
Client · Email
Suits a satisfied client after a finished project, and the “if you're happy” wording keeps pressure low.
- 04
Hi Spencer, I'm applying for a new job. Would it be okay to give your name as a reference? I'll send you the details first.
Coworker · SMS
Handy for a quick, informal ask to someone you know well, because it promises a heads-up before anyone calls.
- 05
Hi Rekha, do you have ten minutes this week? I'd like to ask if you'd be willing to recommend me for the internal move to the data team.
Boss · Chat
Right for an internal transfer, as asking for a short conversation lets your manager respond properly.
- 06
Hi Tom, I hope you're well. I'm applying for roles and your view of my work would mean a lot. Would you be willing to recommend me to the hiring manager? Happy to share the job details.
Coworker · Email
Fits a former colleague you haven't spoken to lately, since it opens warmly and keeps the request clear.
- 07
Hi Geeta, glad the launch went well. If you're pleased with the work, would you be happy to recommend me to anyone who needs similar help?
Client · Chat
Helps when you want word-of-mouth referrals after a good result, and the soft phrasing keeps it from feeling pushy.
Examples
Hi Farah, I'm applying for a senior designer role at another company and would like to list you as a reference. Would you be comfortable recommending me? I can send a few notes on what we worked on together to make it easier. Thanks, Denise
Hi Aisha, I'm interviewing for a senior analyst role and they've asked for references. Would you be willing to be a reference for me? I can send the job description and a few notes.
What to avoid
- Sending the bare line “please recommend me” sounds like an order instead of a request.
- Leave out what you're asking for and the reader has to guess whether it's a reference, a LinkedIn note or an introduction, and by when.
- Assuming the answer is yes puts pressure on the person, so give them an easy way to decline.
- Someone who hasn't seen your work can't vouch for you well, so pick a different person.
- A group chat is a poor place to ask, because declining in front of others feels awkward.