A kinder way to say “I don't like you”

Say this instead

1. 01

   I'll be honest: we don't seem to click, and it's making the work harder. Can we agree on how to keep things simple and respectful from here?

   Coworker · Chat

   Fits when the friction goes both ways and you want a reset with no one taking the blame.

   Use for my message
   Copy
2. 02

   I don't think we work well together right now. I'd like us to keep our communication short, focused on the task, and in writing where possible.

   Coworker · Email

   Suits a colleague you can't avoid, since it sets clear boundaries and doesn't ask for friendship.

   Use for my message
   Copy
3. 03

   I'm finding it hard to work with Sasha, and I'd like your advice on how to handle it. Could we find 15 minutes this week to talk it through?

   Boss · Email

   Lets you bring personal friction to a manager as a request for advice, not a complaint about someone's character.

   Use for my message
   Copy
4. 04

   We don't seem to get along well, and I'd rather say that openly than let it build. Can we talk about what each of us needs to work well together?

   Someone you manage · Chat

   Helps a manager name the tension early and give the other person room to respond.

   Use for my message
   Copy
5. 05

   Our working relationship hasn't been easy, and I think we're both feeling it. I'd like to agree on how we communicate so the project stays on track.

   Client · Email

   Good for a client, because it admits the strain and keeps attention on the work and how you communicate.

   Use for my message
   Copy
6. 06

   Hi Esther, I think we rub each other the wrong way. Can we keep our messages to work only and sort out the handover by Friday?

   Coworker · SMS

   Gives a quick, direct boundary by text, with a concrete deadline to keep things on task.

   Use for my message
   Copy
7. 07

   I didn't feel a good rapport in our calls, so I'd prefer to work with someone else at your agency on future roles. Thanks for your time so far.

   Recruiter / HR · Email

   Right when personal fit is why you want a different contact, and you still want to stay polite.

   Use for my message
   Copy

Examples

What to avoid

• Saying it in front of other people or in a group channel.
• Labels such as “you're difficult” or “you always” backfire, so describe what happens instead of who they are.
• Sending it while angry is a mistake, so wait until you can name what you want to change.
• Acting as if everything is fine and then complaining about the person to others will only make things worse.
• Softening it so much that the other person can't tell there is a problem defeats the purpose.

Related phrases

• Alternatives to “dumb it down” at work→
• “You have a bad attitude”: how to say it politely→
• What to say instead of “I don't trust you”→
• Saying “you have bad breath” at work→
• Better ways to say “we need to communicate better”→
• Better ways to say “it is not working out”→