What to say instead of “accept constructive criticism”
Why it can fall flat
“accept constructive criticism”
It leaves out what you want the person to do with the feedback and makes it unclear whether you want a conversation, and “accept constructive criticism” can sound like an order that hints they are defensive.
Say this instead
- 01
I'd like you to take the feedback from this review on board. Can we go through it together and agree on what you'll try differently?
Someone you manage · Chat
Use this when someone has brushed off feedback, since it turns a demand into a shared plan.
- 02
Please read my notes before Thursday and tell me what's clear, what isn't, and where you disagree. I want the feedback to be useful to you.
Someone you manage · Email
Giving time before Thursday lets the feedback sink in and makes clear that disagreement is welcome.
- 03
I'm not trying to pick holes in your work. Could you hear me out on a couple of points in the draft, then tell me how it looks from your side?
Coworker · Chat
With a peer who gets prickly, this lowers the tension and asks for their view too.
- 04
Can I share a few thoughts on the slides before tomorrow? I'm happy to hear yours too. It should take about ten minutes.
Coworker · SMS
A quick, low-pressure way to swap feedback on slides before a deadline.
- 05
I welcome your feedback on this project, including where I can improve. Could we set up 20 minutes this week to go through it?
Boss · Email
Asking your boss this way shows you are open to feedback and not anxious or defensive.
- 06
I'm comfortable with direct feedback and I ask for it regularly. I'm happy to share an example of how I've acted on it.
Recruiter / HR · Email
In an application or interview follow-up, this answers how you handle feedback and offers proof.
- 07
Thank you for the candid comments on the draft. We'll go through each point and come back with what we can change and what we'd suggest keeping.
Client · Email
With a client, this shows you took the comments seriously without agreeing to every change.
Examples
Hi Gauri, Thanks for sending the report. I've added comments on the first two sections, mostly about structure and how the figures are explained. Please read them before our catch-up on Thursday and note anything you disagree with, so we can talk it through. Best, Yusuf
Quick one: I've left some notes on your draft. Have a look when you can and tell me what makes sense and what doesn't. Happy to talk it through after lunch.
What to avoid
- Don't tell someone to “learn to take criticism”, because it judges their character instead of describing the work.
- Phrases like “don't take it personally” tend to make people feel worse.
- Words like “always” or “never” when describing what they did will put them on the defensive.
- A long list of points delivered all at once is hard to absorb, so pick the ones that matter most.
- Asking for openness to feedback only works if you are also willing to listen to their side.