Alternatives to “you're doing this wrong” at work
Why it can fall flat
“you're doing this wrong”
Most people hear “you're doing this wrong” as a verdict on them, not the task, so they get defensive and stop listening. The writer usually just wants the task to change, with a reason and a next step.
Say this instead
- 01
This step isn't giving us the result we need. Can we go through it together? I'll show you the approach I'd use.
Someone you manage · Chat
Suits someone you manage who is off track, since it names the issue and offers hands-on help.
- 02
I think this setup might cause problems later. Can I show you a different way to do it?
Coworker · Chat
Good between peers because it gives a reason and asks permission instead of handing down a verdict.
- 03
I have a concern about how the invoice process is currently set up, as it could lead to errors. Could we review it before we go further? I can bring an alternative.
Boss · Email
Fits disagreeing upward, since it flags the risk and arrives with a proposed fix.
- 04
To get the result you're after, we'd need to change how this is being set up. Could we have a 15-minute call so I can explain what I'd suggest?
Client · Email
Helps when a client's instruction won't deliver their goal, because it ties the correction to what they want.
- 05
Hi Devon, the device needs to be connected a different way to work properly. Reply and I'll send you the steps.
Customer · SMS
Right for quick support fixes where the customer needs a clear next step instead of blame.
- 06
The report needs to follow the template before it can go to finance. Please redo sections 2 and 3 using the template, and I can walk you through it if useful.
Someone you manage · Email
Best when a clear standard exists, since it states the requirement and exactly what to change.
- 07
Quick heads-up: the booking form needs the date in the other format or it gets rejected. Can we fix it before 3pm?
Coworker · SMS
Useful for small urgent corrections where you need action soon but want to stay friendly.
- 08
The way this role is described doesn't match what the team needs. Could we revise the requirements before the next round of outreach?
Recruiter / HR · Email
Fits a disagreement over how a process is run, as it focuses on the mismatch and proposes a revision.
Examples
Hi Michelle, Thanks for sending the monthly sales summary. The totals are currently pulled from the old sheet, so they won't match what finance has. Could you rebuild them from the new sheet? I'm free at 2pm if you'd like me to show you where it lives. Thanks, Tyler
Hey Ganesh, I think the filter on this dashboard is hiding the returns, so the numbers look higher than they are. Want me to show you a way to include them?
What to avoid
- Opening with “you” and a verdict, such as “you always” or “you never”.
- Correcting someone in front of a group when a private message would do.
- Pointing out the mistake without saying what a better result looks like.
- Sarcasm or a vague hint like “interesting choice” in place of a clear statement.
- Piling several corrections into one message when only one or two matter right now.