Better ways to say “this is outrageous”
Why it can fall flat
“this is outrageous”
“Outrageous” casts the other person as the villain, so they hear an attack on their character and defend themselves instead of fixing anything. Saying plainly that it's not acceptable and asking for a specific change works far better.
Say this instead
- 01
I have to be direct: I think this decision is unfair to the team. Could we talk through the reasoning before it goes ahead?
Boss · Chat
Use this with your boss when you strongly disagree and want to talk before the decision is final, since it challenges the decision and not the person.
- 02
I'm really frustrated that the handover plan changed without anyone telling me. Can we talk today about how to stop this happening again?
Coworker · Chat
Try this with a peer whose last-minute change hit your work, because it names the impact and asks for a fix.
- 03
Hi Yasmin, the report you sent on Monday has figures that don't match what we agreed. Please send a corrected version by Friday so we can move forward.
Client · Email
Send this when a client's document or deliverable is wrong, since it states the problem and asks for a corrected copy.
- 04
Missing the deadline without telling me is not acceptable. Let's talk this afternoon about what happened and how we prevent it next time.
Someone you manage · Chat
Pick this when someone you manage has broken an expectation, because it is firm about the standard and still opens a discussion.
- 05
I want to resolve this for you, but I can't continue if the messages stay aggressive. If we keep it respectful, I'm glad to go through your questions.
Customer · Email
Reach for this when a customer's tone crosses a line, since it sets a boundary while keeping the door open to help.
- 06
I was surprised to see my analysis presented without my name on it. That isn't okay with me, and I'd like us to agree how credit is shared from now on.
Coworker · Email
Choose this when a colleague has taken credit for your work and you want a clear, written position on it.
- 07
The salary in the offer is well below what we discussed, and I can't accept it as written. Can we talk today about the figures?
Recruiter / HR · SMS
Text this when an offer differs sharply from what was said earlier, as it rejects the terms plainly and asks for a quick call.
Examples
Hi Olivia, I've just seen that the launch date was moved to next week, and my team was not told. This is not acceptable, because we had already planned our work around the original date. Could we speak tomorrow morning about how decisions like this are shared with us in future? Thanks, Tobias
Hi Jules, I saw the budget cut for our project in the planning doc and I strongly disagree with how it was decided. Can we talk today before it's confirmed?
What to avoid
- Words like “ridiculous”, “insane” or “absurd” sound like personal attacks and invite a defensive reply.
- Capital letters and stacks of exclamation marks read as shouting.
- If you're still furious, write the draft, wait, then cut it down to the facts and the change you want before sending.
- Accusations about motives, such as “you did this on purpose”, are better replaced by a description of what happened and its effect.
- Copying in extra people to add pressure only makes sense when the issue really needs them.